From birth through high school, life is on “default” for many of us. We’re told what to do, when to do it, how to do it, etc., etc.. And then we graduate from high school and are told, “Here are life choices you need to make on your own. Good luck!” Our teachers shut their classroom doors; our parents may even shut their doors too. Suddenly we’re alone.
We are now adults.
For some of us, we’re finally free to spread our wings. (I went to college, started my career in teaching, and taught abroad for some time.) But for the rest of us, we become lost and confused.
There are many reasons we find ourselves detached from life and questioning our existence.
5 Reasons You Feel Lost in Life:
- You have no idea who you are
- Again, we’ve been told who to be since birth, and we went along with it. I call this living by “default” or autopilot. And then suddenly we’re tossed into reality, without mom and dad holding our hands, and no teachers guiding us. Without our parents/guardians and teachers telling us who to be anymore, who are we?
- You have no goals
- Goal-setting is not something we’re taught in school. Sure our schools and teachers had goals–their goals were to get us to pass tests; We were taught how to take tests and pass them in order to move up a grade level. That’s not goal-setting for us. So how are we supposed to make goals when we’ve never made any up to this point?
- You feel entitled
- Lucky us, mom and dad did everything we told them to; our friends followed our commands; we cried, screamed, and threw fits until we got our way. But that was little kid us. And little kid us was living in the confines of mom and dad’s house, where they took care of us and situations. That’s not reality. In reality, we’re adults who have to take care of ourselves, and ourselves alone. We don’t have the control of people. People don’t have to do what we tell them to. And we shouldn’t be throwing adult tantrums anymore just because someone told us “No”. That’s just embarrassing.
- You are envious of others
- Envy is deep jealousy towards others. But why are we envious? Maybe they have the job we want. Maybe they have the relationship or family we want. And because they have what we want, we hate them. However, we haven’t considered that we can have that too. We just need to get out of our comfort zone in order to get that, such as leaving our crappy job for a better one, leaving our dull relationship and starting to date again. (Our dream partner could be one date away.)
- You treat yourself poorly
- Some of us wake up in the morning and see “someone else” in the bathroom mirror. And that person is the one we talk poorly to, such as “You’re too fat/skinny; you’re old.” All this negative self-talk makes us feel terrible. And to “make ourselves feel better”, we stare at a screen and shut off; we scroll through social media, watch TV, play games, etc.. Yet, we haven’t made any progress in our day to feel good and successful.
Here’s how to shift your mindset and start winning in life.
- Start journaling
- Journaling helps us calm down and reconnect with ourselves. It’s a stress reliever. Journaling also provides a space for us to remove any negativity by jotting down what went wrong and how we could have done better. It allows us to reflect and be/do better. Plus, it may introduce us to a new hobby: writing. Therefore, start journaling. Journal about what bothered you today, what made you smile today; Write a poem, a story, a script.
- Explore, explore, explore
- Many of us live in comfort. We wake up and do the same things over and over. This does not allow us to learn new things or meet new people. Stepping out of our comfort zone also helps us become more open-minded. So get out and explore! Try a new restaurant; go salsa dancing; talk to the folks next to you in line at Starbucks or Chipotle. You’ll never know what you discover!
- Make a schedule (be consistent)
- There are many benefits to creating a schedule. For example, it gives us a visual of what our day looks like, including when to wake up and when to go to bed; Having a to-do list allows us to accomplish the day’s tasks instead of procrastinating; Allotting breaks and rest into our schedule helps us to clear our minds and reset.
- And most importantly, having a schedule builds consistency and discipline. Without these our days become jumbled and lost, and then we wonder where the time went.
- Eat healthy foods and exercise regularly
- We’ve heard it a million times: “An apple a day keeps the doctor away”–or at bay, at least, for those of who go to regular checkups and appointments. By eating the right foods, we’re taking care of our bodies, which can then take care of us. This means we can focus better, feel more energized, and honestly feel happier.
- Exercise is also important. Something as simple as walking or stretching is good for us. This allows oxygen to travel throughout our bodies; again we’re more energized; we’re working our muscles and and strengthening them; we’re combating health problems and diseases, and so much more.
- Rest and sleep
- Take necessary breaks/rest and get uninterrupted sleep. Rest and sleep put us in a good mood, boost our immune system, lower health risks, and boost our mental health. Taking breaks allows us to clear our minds and reset, and transition from one task to another. This doesn’t mean talking to a colleague for 30 minutes to an hour or binge-watching a TV show before finishing up any work we’ve taken home. Ten to 15 minutes is enough.
- Sleep allows us to recharge and tackle the new day. This also goes back to having a schedule and being consistent. Don’t go to bed at 10:00 one night, 7:00 another, and midnight the next. Go to bed at a certain time and set an alarm to rise in the morning, so you can get more done and feel better about yourself.
If you’re feeling lost in life, or your life has hit a wall, please know that it’s not the end of the world. There are many things you can start implementing in order to change yourself and becoming the person you want to be.
Start journaling now with this.
Create your schedule with this.
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